Friday, February 24, 2012

Explainin' Some Things

I've had several recurring questions get asked of me, so I figured it was time to explain some things.  Here are the questions I most often get asked: I thought you were going to adopt a baby that they couldn't find a family for, why are you "up against" other families then?  Why would you turn down a situation?  Why in the world have there been so many situations being presented to you?!?!

They all kind of get answered with one mass explanation.  Let's hope that while I type this my children don't find black paint to paint the carpet with like they did yesterday when I thought they were happily playing with horses in the playroom. 

Naughty, naughty children.

So here's how our adoption process is working.  We are working with several agencies, most of which cater to finding families for hard to place children.  This includes babies with all varieties of special needs, babies with drug or alcohol exposure, older children, and African American babies. 

The reason we seem to be getting so many calls and emails is because of both the number of agencies we have our profile with and the variety of situations we are open to considering. 

We are not alone in this though.  The agencies we work with recruit families who are open to these situations because they want birthparents to have a large pool of prospective adoptive families to choose from.  So for us to be presented with a case in which no other potential adoptive families are open to considering is ridiculously unlikely.  And that's a good thing.

Because we are working with agencies who place hard to place babies though, there are going to be cases that we do not feel equipped to take on.  For instance, if we knew a child was going to be born who would never have use of their legs, we would not be the ideal family.  We have a 3 story home with lots of stairs and little accessibility and there is no real way to alter our home to accommodate that.  There are also a few varieties of special needs that we just don't feel are the right match for our family dynamic.  Also, some of the cases we get calls for are for White children with special needs, and we've decided that adopting a Black child is what we are best equipped for and have made significant life altering choices to provide the best environment for our future child based on that. 

I hope that makes sense.  We love you all and appreciate the outpouring of support we have received.  Questions are always welcome. 


  1. I have a question. I mean this with no disrespect.
    Why wouldn't you take a caucasian child who meets all of your other criteria besides the skin tone? I just don't understand. We are in the process to adopt and hope we are placed with a child of color because our daughter is and don't want either one to feel like they are the black sheep in the family. You don't have any reason to write me back, I am just curious. Again I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I am just curious.

  2. No disrespect taken. :)

    We want to adopt in area where there is a need. There are prospective adoptive couples all over the country who are more then open to taking a Caucasian child into their home, and that is wonderful. There are also agencies all over the country who are actively recruiting families who are open to adopting African American babies because they don't have enough families willing to adopt them. We have specifically prepared ourselves through education, purposeful relationships, and intentionally living in a diverse area to parent an AA child. Because of all that, and feeling a specific call to adopt an AA child, that is all we are open to.