Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Room for More

I sat down to write this out about a week ago.  Evelyn was at school and I filled the bathtub up with water for Annie and Abe to play in, so that I could sit on the bathroom floor and type out what has been stirring in our hearts for months.  

I plopped Abe in the water and he promptly squatted and pooped.  First time I've had a kid poop in the tub.  Awesome.

I got him out, drained the tub, cleaned it up, bleached it, and refilled.  I then look out at Abe in the hallway and realize he's peeing all over the carpet.

So, I plop him back in the tub, clean up the pee and then get Annie ready to climb in with Abe.  Here's what I find.  

At that point I had no choice but to laugh.  The tub was drained, cleaned, and bleached again.  I refilled it and the kids finally got their bath, but I didn't even know how to write out my thoughts at that point.  

It was such an accurate picture of what life is for me right now during the day.  Constant kid needs.  Constant.  It's not usually pooping in the tub; it's usually tantrums, meals, messes, out of control emotions, and boredom that need tended to.  

But the reality is that while dealing with one issue, another is inevitably happening that will need handled as soon as I finish the first thing.  

And as soon as I try to sit, this is what my lap looks like.  Different days, same scene.  

My lap is full, my plate feels full.  The reality is though, that my plate felt full when I just had Evelyn.  And it was.  Then we added Annie and then we added Abraham, and I realized how much I could actually fit on that plate.

So it's with that, that I say we've decided that there's room on the plate, and in our family, for more.  Not because we love chaos and are fully rested and feel totally up for this, but because it's what we want for us and our family.  It's what we want for our family long term.

By the end of June, our home study will be updated and we will be actively pursuing another adoption.  We are just working with a couple attorneys that we really liked from Abraham's adoption rather than a large agency.  The process will most likely be slower, the wait longer, but we are ok with that.

We are excited, anxious, scared, and all the emotions one can go through when deciding to make a huge life change.  We hope you will be excited with us.

Pretend he's excited about a new baby and not about water coming back out of the fountain spout.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Evelyn's Year of PreK

I am insanely proud of my little girl today.  She finished her first year of PreK.  She's done so well this year.  She's sad the year is over and is already looking forward to Kindergarten.

First day of school

Singing at a local retirement home.

 Thanksgiving celebration

On her 5th birthday

 100th day of school

 Grandparent's Day program

Art fair

 Field trip

 Class party

Last day of school!

Sob fest happening below.  

Monday, May 19, 2014

Annie's Questions

Apparently 3 1/2 is the age of questions for Annie.  I'm inundated.  By the end of the morning I'm usually read to hide in a room just for a little silence.  The hard part is that they're GOOD questions.  She's figuring life out, understand race, and trying to make sense of our family and how it came to be.   Maybe it would be less draining if it weren't the same questions over and over and over and over, ad nauseum.

Here's a sampling of the last couple days.

  • Who's my birth mommy?
  • Who's Abraham's birthmommy?
  • What color is Abraham's birthmommy?
  • Was I brown when I was a baby?
  • How was I born?
  • How did I come out?
  • Why did my hair turn a different color?
  • Then why won't my skin turn a different color?
  • Why did I stay with you after I was born?
  • Why didn't Abraham stay with his birthmommy after he was born?
  • Does she miss him?
  • Does he miss her?
  • Does he want to go back and live with her?

So you know, just some light hearted discussion.

She's also taken to walking up to Black women in public and asking if they are Miss K (Abraham's birth mom).  When we attended a graduation party where the girls and I were the only White people, she repeatedly asked me when Miss K would be there and then asked several guests if they were Miss K.

Questions also often revolve around her birthday.  
This was her reaction to learning she can only have one birthday a year. 

Being open and honest about the realities of adoption with our kids is a very high priority for us.  I never pictured it coming out so clearly in a 3-year-olds questions, I pictured myself having to be the one to bring it up via books, questions, and other media.  I must say though, it's nice practice to put language to these questions that is digestible for a toddler, while still being truthful and leaving lines of communication open.