Join Me In My Nervous Anxiousness, Will You?

I question how much about our adoption journey to share.  It feels sort of like when you are newly pregnant and debating who to tell because who do you want to have to tell if something goes wrong.  It's a weird limbo, this waiting to be matched business.

At first the plan was to keep quiet until a match happened, but who am I kidding?  I'm horrible at having to keep secrets, and I like to share my joy.

So if you want to hop on board this roller coaster with us, climb on in.  It will be a crazy ride that has already started.

Today we got an email from our consulting agency about a birth mom in Florida who needs to see profiles ASAP.  Once I frantically got a hold of Scott and spoke with the placing agency in Florida to discuss financials (their fees are more $$$ than we could cough up right away or in the near future), we decided to be shown.  Our profile is being over-nighted there as I type.  Why so fast?  Because she is due in 9 DAYS.  Yeah, 9 days. 

Now I have no idea how many profiles she will be looking at, only that the agency didn't have any waiting families open to her situation and timing.  Maybe the call that went out today produced dozens, or maybe she will be picking between us and one other family.  I don't have a clue.  But when it comes down to it I'm very at peace about it.  If this little person (she doesn't know the gender) is supposed to be joining our family, then she will look at our profile and know she's found her child's forever home.  God is big and very much in control.  We rest in that.

If this is going to work out it's going to have to be a God thing.  The money.  The logistics (leaving in 1-3ish weeks for Florida where we would have to stay for at least a couple weeks).  The timing.

The part of me that wants to control things is looking at airline tickets and hotels and trying to figure out how in the world I could spend 2 weeks away from our girls.  The part of Scott that wants to control things is staring blankly at numbers that consistently don't come close to adding up.  Yet, through divine intervention our spirits are at rest, happily knowing that God is in control of each and every detail.