The amazingly glorious warm weather has taken a couple day hiatus, so it automatically became time for soup. Comfort food soup at that. I like thick, creamy soups than fill you up and aren't too brothy. Is that a word? Anyway, here you go ladies and gents. Some (obviously gluten-free with a too long name) creamy chicken veggie wild rice soup.
Creamy Chicken Vegetable Wild Rice Soup
Ingredients:
4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
2 cups water
6 chicken thighs, boiled and shredded
1 cup long grain and wild rice mixture (not a quick cooking package, the real stuff - I used Lundberg wild blend)
1 T garlic salt
1 T onion powder
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp salt
1 cup mushrooms of your choosing, diced
1 cup carrots, diced
1 cup celery, diced
1/2 sweet onion, diced
1/2 cup all purpose GF flour blend (I used Bob's Red Mill) or brown rice flour
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
2 cups whole milk
olive oil
Directions:
1) In a small pot, combine 1 cup rice blend and 2 cups veggie stock. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 40 minutes.
2) In a large pot, saute your veggies until soft in olive oil. I would do you mushrooms separately since they only take a couple minutes and the others will take longer.
3) Remove all veggies from the pot and melt your stick of butter. Whisk in the seasonings. Add your flour a little bit at a time and whisk thoroughly. By the time all the flour is in there, it will be a thick paste.
4) Add your milk about 1/2 cup at a time. Whisk each addition until well incorporated and heated. Continue to heat and stir after all is added until the mixture is nice and thick.
5) Add in your veggies, chicken, 2 cups broth, 2 cups water, and rice. Cook over medium heat (low simmer) for about 20 minutes. Or if you are making this during nap time, it should all fit in a standard crockpot, so you can put it all in there on low and it will be ready whenever you are for dinner.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Where To Go From Here
I read a good amount of parenting books and blogs and such before having children. The general consensus was good parenting in = good children out. If you are consistent, and set boundaries, and discipline using this method, your children will bend to your will and your days will be enjoyable.
Your child will be well trained to follow the rules. She will sleep through the night. She will clean her plate. She will come when you call. She will answer questions when asked.
Ba-ha-ha-ha
Enter into the picture: Dear Sweet Evelyn
It started very young for her with her food and sleep issues. It's not normal for a child to suddenly stop gaining weight for 9 months. All the while to be sleeping worse than a newborn, up every 5-10 minutes for hours at a time screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.
I don't know if what we are dealing with now is a result of that time, or if it's just part of who she is.
But I do know that life now is a constant challenge with her. I want to look forward to my time with her throughout the day, but there are days that I dread it.
Away from home and around other people she can be a completely different child. Sweet, quiet, introverted. But when it's just her and I (or Scott) at home...
This week has left me exhausted. It's been days and days of battles and behavior that I don't even know how to begin to tackle. Each isolated incident is not that strange for a 3-year-old, it's the combination. It's the fact that it's not a singular event in the week, it's an all-day every-day thing. The whole time we are outside I have to tell her over, and over, and over again to not throw dirt on the driveway, throw rocks, destroy plants, go past where she can ride her bike, get things out of the van, etc.
She won't answer your questions when you ask. She won't do what you ask of her. Everything is a battle. Even leaving the house to run to the store has become a war of wills.
Her attitude is better when we are outside, it's just her behavior that isn't.
She ate her usual breakfast this morning, the only thing she will eat in the morning: yogurt, granola, and raisins. And they have to be in that order. This morning some raisins got underneath the granola and the world just about came to a screeching halt. It was disastrous for her.
Then while I went upstairs to sort laundry, she got a large cup down and filled it with water from the fridge multiple time. Each time dumping it out on the floor of a different area of the house. I came downstairs to a virtual flood that managed to wet down even the surface of all the cupboards and appliances in the kitchen. While I was cleaning up that mess she melted into a screaming puddle because her pj's had gotten wet in the process. After disciplining and feeling like she understood, I went upstairs to get her dry clothes and bring down more laundry. While I was up there she dumped another large glass of water all over the dining room. Sigh.
So we don't know what to do next with her. She is already seeing multiple doctors for her Celiac and food intolerances and now has the addition of weekly appointments for speech therapy. Do I drag her to more specialists to try to get more labels attached to her? Would it even help?
How do I deal with the judgment I feel from those around me that say things would be better if I just did x,y, and z? Disciplined more, used a different method, took her off more foods, gave her more attention, gave her less attention. And if I ignore the judgment of others, I suppose I would have to then deal with the judgment I impose upon myself.
Your child will be well trained to follow the rules. She will sleep through the night. She will clean her plate. She will come when you call. She will answer questions when asked.
Ba-ha-ha-ha
Enter into the picture: Dear Sweet Evelyn
There is no book on Evelyn. There just simply isn't.
It started very young for her with her food and sleep issues. It's not normal for a child to suddenly stop gaining weight for 9 months. All the while to be sleeping worse than a newborn, up every 5-10 minutes for hours at a time screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night.
I don't know if what we are dealing with now is a result of that time, or if it's just part of who she is.
But I do know that life now is a constant challenge with her. I want to look forward to my time with her throughout the day, but there are days that I dread it.
Away from home and around other people she can be a completely different child. Sweet, quiet, introverted. But when it's just her and I (or Scott) at home...
This week has left me exhausted. It's been days and days of battles and behavior that I don't even know how to begin to tackle. Each isolated incident is not that strange for a 3-year-old, it's the combination. It's the fact that it's not a singular event in the week, it's an all-day every-day thing. The whole time we are outside I have to tell her over, and over, and over again to not throw dirt on the driveway, throw rocks, destroy plants, go past where she can ride her bike, get things out of the van, etc.
She won't answer your questions when you ask. She won't do what you ask of her. Everything is a battle. Even leaving the house to run to the store has become a war of wills.
Her attitude is better when we are outside, it's just her behavior that isn't.
She ate her usual breakfast this morning, the only thing she will eat in the morning: yogurt, granola, and raisins. And they have to be in that order. This morning some raisins got underneath the granola and the world just about came to a screeching halt. It was disastrous for her.
Then while I went upstairs to sort laundry, she got a large cup down and filled it with water from the fridge multiple time. Each time dumping it out on the floor of a different area of the house. I came downstairs to a virtual flood that managed to wet down even the surface of all the cupboards and appliances in the kitchen. While I was cleaning up that mess she melted into a screaming puddle because her pj's had gotten wet in the process. After disciplining and feeling like she understood, I went upstairs to get her dry clothes and bring down more laundry. While I was up there she dumped another large glass of water all over the dining room. Sigh.
So we don't know what to do next with her. She is already seeing multiple doctors for her Celiac and food intolerances and now has the addition of weekly appointments for speech therapy. Do I drag her to more specialists to try to get more labels attached to her? Would it even help?
How do I deal with the judgment I feel from those around me that say things would be better if I just did x,y, and z? Disciplined more, used a different method, took her off more foods, gave her more attention, gave her less attention. And if I ignore the judgment of others, I suppose I would have to then deal with the judgment I impose upon myself.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
February Is A Bit Past Over
This was our dining room a month ago. It's only been a month since Valentine's Day, so it's not too late to post on it, right? I love creating fun memories for my girlies. So they came down to this in the morning and heart-shaped pancakes.
And apparently this is the only picture I got of Belle that day, which is better than what I got of Evelyn. And yes, she's biting chunks out of a raw potato. Is that weird?
One of the perks of Scott's job is that his firm buys tables at different fundraisers. Some of them we get to be the guests at. A couple weeks ago we went to one for St. Luke's SPOT (speech, physical, occupational therapy for children center). It was a blast! There was a DJ, face painting, confetti canons, a bounce house, and all kinds of kiddo activities.
Evelyn is now a patient/client (I'm not sure what the right term is there) at St. Luke's SPOT for her speech woes. She tested even lower than I thought she would. So we will be regulars over there every week attempting to play catch up with her.
The rest of February and now early March is marked by amazing weather. We are definitely ready for all kinds of warm weather, playing outside, and gardening. Evelyn has a garden that she works diligently in. There is nothing planted in it yet, but she keeps hoping something will start growing. She let me know that her garden isn't a flower garden, it's the kind you can eat.
Meanwhile, the girls have been busy building nests for rabbits and leaving food for them. We have yet to have any takers, but they hold out hope none the less.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A Bit of Birthday Perspective
I'm approaching my last birthday of my 20's tomorrow. In many ways I'm excited to only have one year left in my 20's and ready to embrace 30 in just a short year. My 20's have been good for me, I graduated college, got my first real job, married the love of my life, moved to the city I love, gave birth to two beautiful girls, and Lord-willing will adopt a child. But something about 30 makes me think I will feel more grown up. Maybe that never really happens though.
I was shoved back into the reality of the short number of our days this last week though. On Friday, a guy we grew up with, who himself had just celebrated turning 29 in October, left this life. In the blink of an eye his time here was done leaving behind a grieving wife, parents, sister, and grandparents. It feels too soon, but yet I know the truth that God alone numbers our days and it wasn't too soon in His eyes. It was still with a heavy heart and wet eyes though that I watched my husband help carry his casket to its resting place. That image as well as my view of his mother, wife, and sister holding hands as they walked behind it may never leave me.
So I thank God alone for the 29 years He has given me, and pray that I live out the days He has left for me here how He would choose. Living in His truth and will.
And because I've been asked, this is all I want for my birthday.
I was shoved back into the reality of the short number of our days this last week though. On Friday, a guy we grew up with, who himself had just celebrated turning 29 in October, left this life. In the blink of an eye his time here was done leaving behind a grieving wife, parents, sister, and grandparents. It feels too soon, but yet I know the truth that God alone numbers our days and it wasn't too soon in His eyes. It was still with a heavy heart and wet eyes though that I watched my husband help carry his casket to its resting place. That image as well as my view of his mother, wife, and sister holding hands as they walked behind it may never leave me.
So I thank God alone for the 29 years He has given me, and pray that I live out the days He has left for me here how He would choose. Living in His truth and will.
And because I've been asked, this is all I want for my birthday.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Adoption Costs
It's not a big surprise to most people to hear that adoption costs a lot of money. An overwhelming amount, really. To try to keep people's spirits up about the cost, two things are often spoken of: tax refunds and grants.
The first is the adoption tax credit. Last year it was a refundable credit, meaning you don't have to have a certain amount in tax liabilities in order to get the full credit back. You only get to put that on your taxes the year you finalize though, so this is money we don't have access to. This year the credit has gone back to being non-refundable, so you only get back as much as you paid into your federal taxes up to a specified amount. While this is a really nice, it doesn't help with the fact that all your adoption expenses are due up front, not after you get that tax return.
The second is that there are lots of grants available. And this is true, somewhat at least. We originally applied for 4 of them and then just recently for 2 more. Each application took considerable time to fill out, required getting references, and letters of recommendation. Lots and lots of paperwork on top of the already incredibly large amount of other paperwork adoption entails. So, we were quite disheartened when we heard back from each of our 4 original grants that we didn't receive any of them. In fact, in the words of one grant,
So yes, there are lots of grants, but I'm not feeling like the odds are with anyone as far as being awarded one. We haven't heard back from one of them and the other we just heard back from this week. We were accepted (YAY!), but it's not really a grant. There is a little bit of money that will come in from the organization, but essentially what it is, is a way for people to donate to our adoption fund in a tax deductible way. This would have been super helpful to have in place before so many of our friends and family graciously gave to us, but it is what it is and we are so thankful.
So if you would like to give to our little cause, we would be eternally grateful.
The first is the adoption tax credit. Last year it was a refundable credit, meaning you don't have to have a certain amount in tax liabilities in order to get the full credit back. You only get to put that on your taxes the year you finalize though, so this is money we don't have access to. This year the credit has gone back to being non-refundable, so you only get back as much as you paid into your federal taxes up to a specified amount. While this is a really nice, it doesn't help with the fact that all your adoption expenses are due up front, not after you get that tax return.
The second is that there are lots of grants available. And this is true, somewhat at least. We originally applied for 4 of them and then just recently for 2 more. Each application took considerable time to fill out, required getting references, and letters of recommendation. Lots and lots of paperwork on top of the already incredibly large amount of other paperwork adoption entails. So, we were quite disheartened when we heard back from each of our 4 original grants that we didn't receive any of them. In fact, in the words of one grant,
This grant cycle we received almost 400 applications with financial
requests approximating $3.5 million dollars. We had $60,000 to award.
So yes, there are lots of grants, but I'm not feeling like the odds are with anyone as far as being awarded one. We haven't heard back from one of them and the other we just heard back from this week. We were accepted (YAY!), but it's not really a grant. There is a little bit of money that will come in from the organization, but essentially what it is, is a way for people to donate to our adoption fund in a tax deductible way. This would have been super helpful to have in place before so many of our friends and family graciously gave to us, but it is what it is and we are so thankful.
So if you would like to give to our little cause, we would be eternally grateful.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Explainin' Some Things
I've had several recurring questions get asked of me, so I figured it was time to explain some things. Here are the questions I most often get asked: I thought you were going to adopt a baby that they couldn't find a family for, why are you "up against" other families then? Why would you turn down a situation? Why in the world have there been so many situations being presented to you?!?!
They all kind of get answered with one mass explanation. Let's hope that while I type this my children don't find black paint to paint the carpet with like they did yesterday when I thought they were happily playing with horses in the playroom.
So here's how our adoption process is working. We are working with several agencies, most of which cater to finding families for hard to place children. This includes babies with all varieties of special needs, babies with drug or alcohol exposure, older children, and African American babies.
The reason we seem to be getting so many calls and emails is because of both the number of agencies we have our profile with and the variety of situations we are open to considering.
We are not alone in this though. The agencies we work with recruit families who are open to these situations because they want birthparents to have a large pool of prospective adoptive families to choose from. So for us to be presented with a case in which no other potential adoptive families are open to considering is ridiculously unlikely. And that's a good thing.
Because we are working with agencies who place hard to place babies though, there are going to be cases that we do not feel equipped to take on. For instance, if we knew a child was going to be born who would never have use of their legs, we would not be the ideal family. We have a 3 story home with lots of stairs and little accessibility and there is no real way to alter our home to accommodate that. There are also a few varieties of special needs that we just don't feel are the right match for our family dynamic. Also, some of the cases we get calls for are for White children with special needs, and we've decided that adopting a Black child is what we are best equipped for and have made significant life altering choices to provide the best environment for our future child based on that.
I hope that makes sense. We love you all and appreciate the outpouring of support we have received. Questions are always welcome.
They all kind of get answered with one mass explanation. Let's hope that while I type this my children don't find black paint to paint the carpet with like they did yesterday when I thought they were happily playing with horses in the playroom.
Naughty, naughty children.
So here's how our adoption process is working. We are working with several agencies, most of which cater to finding families for hard to place children. This includes babies with all varieties of special needs, babies with drug or alcohol exposure, older children, and African American babies.
The reason we seem to be getting so many calls and emails is because of both the number of agencies we have our profile with and the variety of situations we are open to considering.
We are not alone in this though. The agencies we work with recruit families who are open to these situations because they want birthparents to have a large pool of prospective adoptive families to choose from. So for us to be presented with a case in which no other potential adoptive families are open to considering is ridiculously unlikely. And that's a good thing.
Because we are working with agencies who place hard to place babies though, there are going to be cases that we do not feel equipped to take on. For instance, if we knew a child was going to be born who would never have use of their legs, we would not be the ideal family. We have a 3 story home with lots of stairs and little accessibility and there is no real way to alter our home to accommodate that. There are also a few varieties of special needs that we just don't feel are the right match for our family dynamic. Also, some of the cases we get calls for are for White children with special needs, and we've decided that adopting a Black child is what we are best equipped for and have made significant life altering choices to provide the best environment for our future child based on that.
I hope that makes sense. We love you all and appreciate the outpouring of support we have received. Questions are always welcome.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Get Your Ashy Forehead On
Here's a conversation that happened today that fully describes my entire morning and afternoon with Evelyn.
While playing outside...
Me: Honey, don't play in the dirt, we have church tonight and I don't want you to get all dirty.
Evelyn: I won't play in the dirt mom, I'll just throw mud.
Me: How about not that either.
Evelyn: AHHHHH!!!! YEEEEESSSSS I WILL!!!!!
Fab-ola #1
We also had our house appraised today as the final piece of our renovation loan. The appraisal happened right before naptime which is generally the time when the house is in the most disarray. Instead I had to have it spotless and open house ready essentially. It happened, but not without me neglecting my children.
Fab-ola #2.
I rush to make a quick dinner of chicken nachos of which Evelyn won't really eat because she is boycotting most food right now. If it's not a list she has created in her mind, expecting her to eat it will result in her peeing on her chair, out right refusal, and then finally getting it in her mouth only to have her gag and near puke it back out again.
Fab-ola #3
Scott had to work late, so it was just me and the girlies headed to Ash Wednesday service (one of my favorites of the year that I wasn't about to miss) single mom style. Well, except for the whole part about still having a husband who was working his tail off for us. I will never say I do anything single mom style for real, because seriously, I don't think a non-single mom has any clue what an actual single mom feels like.
Wow, tangent much?
So we head to church. I check the girls in and all is well and I go in to enjoy the service. After communion I go and pick them up to bring them in for the last song and benediction. Now, if you are remembering that I am solo for this venture then you are shaking your head at me right now because WHY WOULD I GET MY CHILDREN OUT OF FREE CHILDCARE EARLIER THAN NECESSARY! Evelyn sits beside me and whines for food the entire time (I'm in the front, front row by the way). Bella wants to run back and forth across the pew and wave at people. Then during the benediction Bella decides to high-tail it for the steps to go up and say hi to Pastor Kris. My snatching her led to her becoming a human noodle on the verge of very loud noises as she tried to work her way out of my grasp. So as soon as possible, we head for the door. As we are leaving church on the very crowded steps Evelyn starts sobbing quite loudly, "Daddy's never coming home again!"
Fab-ola #4
So here was my moment of peace for the day.
Ahhhh. Singing sweet music for Jesus.
While playing outside...
Me: Honey, don't play in the dirt, we have church tonight and I don't want you to get all dirty.
Evelyn: I won't play in the dirt mom, I'll just throw mud.
Me: How about not that either.
Evelyn: AHHHHH!!!! YEEEEESSSSS I WILL!!!!!
Fab-ola #1
We also had our house appraised today as the final piece of our renovation loan. The appraisal happened right before naptime which is generally the time when the house is in the most disarray. Instead I had to have it spotless and open house ready essentially. It happened, but not without me neglecting my children.
Fab-ola #2.
I rush to make a quick dinner of chicken nachos of which Evelyn won't really eat because she is boycotting most food right now. If it's not a list she has created in her mind, expecting her to eat it will result in her peeing on her chair, out right refusal, and then finally getting it in her mouth only to have her gag and near puke it back out again.
Fab-ola #3
Scott had to work late, so it was just me and the girlies headed to Ash Wednesday service (one of my favorites of the year that I wasn't about to miss) single mom style. Well, except for the whole part about still having a husband who was working his tail off for us. I will never say I do anything single mom style for real, because seriously, I don't think a non-single mom has any clue what an actual single mom feels like.
Wow, tangent much?
So we head to church. I check the girls in and all is well and I go in to enjoy the service. After communion I go and pick them up to bring them in for the last song and benediction. Now, if you are remembering that I am solo for this venture then you are shaking your head at me right now because WHY WOULD I GET MY CHILDREN OUT OF FREE CHILDCARE EARLIER THAN NECESSARY! Evelyn sits beside me and whines for food the entire time (I'm in the front, front row by the way). Bella wants to run back and forth across the pew and wave at people. Then during the benediction Bella decides to high-tail it for the steps to go up and say hi to Pastor Kris. My snatching her led to her becoming a human noodle on the verge of very loud noises as she tried to work her way out of my grasp. So as soon as possible, we head for the door. As we are leaving church on the very crowded steps Evelyn starts sobbing quite loudly, "Daddy's never coming home again!"
Fab-ola #4
So here was my moment of peace for the day.
Ahhhh. Singing sweet music for Jesus.
Yep, I took a picture with my phone, in church, and instagrammed it.
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