It's Working

** Upon editing this post I realized I managed to use the word boobie and vag in the same post.  So sorry.  My husband and mom are certainly horrified. **

I get lots of questions about Abraham and his/our situation with him.  Some from strangers, most from those I love.  I really don't mind answering them for the most part. 

There's only been a few that put me on edge. 


"Why did you adopt when you have two of your own?" 

It's a really well intentioned question and obviously a curiosity.  But please, oh please, oh please don't word it that way once he's old enough to hear and understand.  My insides want to scream, "HE IS MY OWN!!!"  But I usually politely respond about why we chose to adopt.  I'm very non-confrontational when speaking instead of typing.


"Why did his mom give him up?"

Sigh.  I'm his mom.  I really, truly am.  Yes, he also has a birthmom, but even she refers to me as his mom and always has.  And again, when he can understand particularly, please don't refer to anyone but me as his mom.  And I struggle with the rest of the wording too because it makes it sound like he was unwanted.  He wasn't.  Unplanned?  Yes.  Unwanted?  No. 

On a side note with these questions.  I'm just not quite sure why strangers ask me them.  Certainly they are just curious, but they are pretty personal questions!  I've never walked up to a woman with multiple children and asked her whether they were the result of birth control failure.  Or if she pushed them out her vag.  Or some other grossly inappropriate small talk for the aisle of Target.  Oh well.

This post deviated from where it was headed. 

What I really wanted to say is, sweet little Abraham was born 3 weeks ago.  How did that happen??? 

He weighs in at 7 lbs. 9.5 oz as of Monday afternoon at the doctor.  Little peanut.

That means he's gained almost a whole pound since birth.  Over a pound from his weight when we left the hospital.  And what's he grown on? 

Boobie milk!  100%!

He hasn't had to have a single drop of formula or anything from a bottle since the day he was born.

This is so huge for me.  Huge.  It's something I wanted so badly for him.  I logged many hours nursing and hooked to a pump to make it happen, and it did.  Praise Jesus.

And for those curious, Annie weaned while we were gone.  She attempted nursing a few times when we got back, but couldn't remember how and went on with life.  She decided that she is all done being a baby though.  She potty trained herself (no joke) and requested to move into her big bed in Evelyn's room. 

So you want to know how the adoption process is going?

Oh my.  I just don't even know how to begin answering this question.  I get asked it often though (which doesn't bother me by the way), I just don't always know how to answer it.  So there may be more truth thrown out there in this post than I went into it intending.

For one, there is this whole other language used in the adoption world.  And along with this language is a culture that I've been put in the midst of and had to find my way around.  

Part of this culture is understanding that being turned down by a birthmom is not the same thing as being rejected.  But because I so often bow to idol of others approval of me, I don't always tell people that a birthmom is looking at our profile, because odds are she won't pick us.  We may be one of 3, 5, 12, or however many families she looks at.  

I also don't tell simply because it's a really emotional rollercoaster and I don't know that everyone wants to be along for the ride.  I don't even enjoy the ride all the time.

So here's the reality of the situation.

We've been shown to 4 birthmoms.  Two in Florida, one in Indiana, and one in Kansas City.  We've debated being shown to countless others.  We decided not to for two basic reasons, either the baby was going to have known special needs that we decided are outside our scope of openness or they were too expensive.   Only 2 were because of special needs and 10? 20? were because of cost. 

Just so you know, the cost of adoption varies wildly.  There are $10,000 adoptions and there are $80,000+ adoptions.  I'm not going to go into our own personal budget, but I can say that we will not be at the high end (or anywhere remotely near it) because at that point I feel like you are dealing with agencies that are preying on families who want a healthy baby that meets specific parameters and we want no part of that.  We also just plain don't have that much disposable income.

We are going into birthmom situation #5 right now that we decided to be shown to.  It's a local mom.  The baby most likely will have some level of special needs.  He/she won't be born completely healthy, but who can predict that their child will be?  Case and point, our little Evelyn.  I won't share the details of the birthmom even if we are matched and even if she follows through with the match and places with us.  That information will belong to our child first, and if he/she decides to share it, great.  It's their story. 

On that note, I debate even sharing with the whole big interwebs even if we are matched.  We have a couple different sets of friends who are also adopting.  One of them had 3 failed adoptions (birthmom decided to parent), the other has had 2.  So even if I decide to post a "Yay, we're matched!" post, that may not mean anything other than grief if it falls through.  Do I want to have to go through that publicly?  I'm not sure.  It feels a little like when you keep a pregnancy a secret at first because of all the what ifs. 

This post feels a little like word vomit.  It kind of is.  It's late (well, in old married with children people time, it's really only about 11:00) and Scott is at work.  He let me know he may come home for a catnap sometime in the wee hours before he changes and heads back.  So you're welcome internet, you get my ramblings because I don't sleep well on my own. 

So How's the Adoption Stuff Coming Along?

I've been asked this several times over the last few days, so here's an official update.

The rest of the paperwork needed for our home study is in the mail today.  Our social worker just needs to finish up our home study and include the information from that paperwork for the rough draft to be done.  She will them send us a copy to look over.  We will make some changes, she will make the changes, and then submit us to be approved to adopt.

Our initial paperwork for our agency is in the mail today as well.  It is so weird to essentially tell people you have just met every intimate detail about your life, your history, your financial situation...EVERYTHING.  We still have more to do for the agency though.  We have to write a letter the the prospective birth parents, create a photobook about our family for prospective birth families to look through, take a class, read several books and lots of articles, and fill out a couple affidavits.

Once all that is done, we just have to have the rest of our money in place in case we get matched quickly.  We are getting there.  Slowly, but surely.  We are doing our best to save what we can each month, we have some very generous friends and family, and I'm still making and selling felt food.  I'm already getting orders for Christmas gifts!

We're also still working on preparing Evelyn.  She is adamant that we are going to adopt a girl even though it is more likely that we will be matched with a boy.  I would be thrilled either way.  In some ways I would love to have a son because we already have two beautiful daughters and I would love that experience.  But then I also think it would be a blast to have three little girls grow up together.  It's not in our hands though, so thankfully I don't have to be the one to decide.

We did have a very interesting experience recently at the library that I wanted to share.  We were there for story time and there was one other mom there with her son who was about 18 months old.  They were a Black family.  Evelyn picked out a book that she wanted me to read to her and the little boy came over to sit and read with us too.  The book was entitled, Who Will I Be, Lord?, and is about a little Black girl talking about all the members of her family, what they do, and questioning what she will do when she grows up.  It's a great book, but I was not prepared for some of the subject matter.


Some of the topics in the book include inter-racial marriage (and family disapproving of it) and slavery (including reference to slaves being beaten and mistreated).  These are clearly topics that will be discussed in our home, but they're not something that I have brought up at all with Evelyn yet.   I would have felt much more comfortable had the child been old enough to actually talk about these things or if I knew the family, but as it was, I was just left feeling awkward.


They are the truth of a painful past and present in America though.  I was reading last night in the book, Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria, about talking to young children about slavery.  It had some amazing examples of how to bring it up.  How to not portray Blacks as passive victims, and also to not portray all Whites as dominant aggressors of injustice.  I really can't recommend that book enough to all parents, regardless of the racial make-up of your home.

My New Best Friend

I have a new best friend.  We've been spending a lot of time together lately and will continue to do so over the next couple of years.

No, it's not my camera that is refusing to not take an overexposed, blurry photograph right now.  It's my lovely breast pump.  Not what you were expecting to view this fine morning on my blog, eh?

I'm developing a love/hate relationship with this contraption.

So here's the deal.  I want to breastfeed our adopted baby.  But in order to do that I have to have a good milk supply.  Annabelle is still nursing 7-8 times a day, but also just started taking in a good amount of solid food.  I will continue to nurse her for at least another year, so the pumping takes on a couple purposes.

First, it keeps my supply up while she is taking in less milk as she takes in more solids.  Second, it builds a freezer stash in case I don't make enough milk as s/he gets older and we need to supplement.

So my freezer is going to slowly fill with boxes filled with bags of milk.  I pump about 8 extra ounces a day right now by pumping during both of Bella's naps and right before I go to bed for the night.

Sometimes I feel like mooing. 

Order Out, Updates, and Cuteness

I'm not going to lie, I love getting big orders for felt food.  They make me feel like we're getting closer to bringing our baby home.  This order is going out this week!

 

I've been emailing back and forth with our social worker and she thinks the rough draft of our home study will be done in a couple weeks.  We will then have to edit it for accuracy and send it back to her with the rest of our required documents.  Once she has all of that it won't take long at all to be finished up!

And because I think every good blog post has some cuteness in it, here you go.  

Blogs of Note

When I joined the ranks of adoption blogs at Circle of Moms in a race to be in the Top 25, I had no visions of actually making the Top 25.  I'm just happy to be in the top half of those listed. 

While perusing the list though, I found some amazing new blogs to follow.  The wisdom that some of these women share is truly enlightening.  I've started following blogs by moms who have adopted multiple times, those written by moms who have placed children for adoption, and those by adults who were adopted as children.  I love the multitude of perspectives it provides me as we start out on this journey.

Just this morning my heart felt so full as I thought about where we might be a year from now.  I truly feel that God gave our family a heart for adoption and has filled it to the brink with joy over the whole process.

One of the blogs I've really enjoyed is Storing Up Treasures.  This mom has 11 children (a combo of biological and adopted).  Eleven.  Some days having two rocks my world.  Ok, most days.

But anyway, on her blog she has a list of other blogging moms where I have found yet more blogs to follow.  And now Finding Mercy is going to get to be added to the list!  Excitement. 

Two Viewpoints, Both Worry Me

This isn't a fluffy post.  If you came to see pictures of the girls, I apologize, but not really because I think this stuff is super important.  Also, as you read, realize that these are evolving viewpoints.  I haven't reached some pinnacle of racial understanding, nor do I judge others for where they are in understanding the complicated issues of race and culture in America.  And now back to your regularly scheduled blog post...

I hear two viewpoints on race relations, a lot.

The first is often exalted like it's progressive and really well informed.  It's expressed in a variety of ways, but they all essentially mean the same thing.

• I'm colorblind.
• Wouldn't it be great if we were just a colorless society?
• A kid is a kid no matter what color they are!
• It doesn't matter what color you are: black, white, brown, purple, green...

There is some truth there.  Kids are kids no matter what color they are.  And it would be great if we didn't look down on anyone because of their race or culture.  But that is a far cry from being colorless or colorblind.

Why is it that we are so afraid to accept the fact that there are a wide variety of colors and cultures that exist in our world?  It doesn't have to be a threatening thing.  In fact, it's part of God's design for humanity.  So no, it wouldn't be great for the world to be colorless.  That would be outside of God's plan.

Black and White culture in America are different.  They have some similarities, yes, but they have far different histories and traditions.  So while you may think it's great to be colorblind, you are denying entire people groups recognition of their culture and heritage.  That's not progressive.

People are not purple and green.  To act as though you have to accept and embrace people of unseen colors makes it sound as though you think the varieties of shades people come in is either an extreme thing you have embraced or that talking about the range of colors is somehow comical.



The second is one I mainly saw in college and still see in institutional settings such as schools and the workplace.  It goes something like this:

• It's Black History Month!  Let's put up 3 posters of black people in the classroom and sing the praises of Martin Luther King, Jr. 
• It's Thanksgiving so let's talk about Native Americans!  Look, they helped Pilgrims plant corn!

It's celebration without knowledge.  Blindly celebrating another nationality and culture does not equal knowledge or acceptance of.  In fact, I would say it's worse.  


I used to teach 8th grade.  I taught a 2 month unit on the history of the Civil Rights Movement in my English classes.  It was one of my favorite units to plan.  I worked in the inner-city (yes, Des Moines, Iowa has an inner-city), so I had a very racially and culturally diverse class.  We read speeches, studied historical accounts, put a giant timeline on the back wall of the classroom, and read novels from all different viewpoints.


To start the unit though, I first had students take a pre-test.  They had to answer some basic questions about history so that I knew where to start my instruction.


I had multiple students put that Martin Luther King, Jr. helped free the slaves.

Celebration without education at it's finest.  These students had probably celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day at least every year they were in school.  What good did that do them? 

If you want to check this out for yourself, ask the average adult to draw a picture of a Native American how they would have looked in the 1700's.  Have them include the type of home they lived in and what daily life may look like.

What will you get?

A Native American, probably wearing feathers of some type, living in a teepee, and shooting a buffalo.  Across the board would be my guess.  Why?  Because that is what you were shown at Thanksgiving time every year of your childhood.

Celebration (although that's debatable if they were only talked about at Thanksgiving) without education.

For the record, not all Native Americans lived in teepees, or hunted buffalo.  In fact some built amazing houses chiseled out of rock and built into the landscape.  Amazing stuff.

There's a lot more work to be done in our world for true understanding and reconciliation to happen.  So where do you start?  I recommend a couple books and an excellent website, but that really is just a start.


Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria? by Beverly Tatum
     It really is a must read especially if you are a white family adopting trans-racially.  :)  It's all about racial identity formation and the author is quite explicit about what she believes whites can do to combat injustice in society.


Divided by Faith: Evangelical Religion and the Problem of Race in America by Emerson and Smith
     A group at our church is currently reading this together to discuss race in the context of the gospel. 

www.loveisntenough.com
     It's on raising children in a color struck world.  There are amazing posts on everything under the sun from how to teach your children to combat systemic and institutional racism to how to work through issues as a trans-racial family. 

Baby Fray and Big Life Lessons

Evelyn has never been inside a Toys 'R Us before.  Yesterday was a first for her.  I think her little mind was near explosion.  I had told her that we were going to a toy store to pick out a new baby doll for her and she was beyond thrilled.  

We walked up and down the aisles looking for the doll section.  Finally, we found it.  She wanted all of them.  She walked down the aisle saying, "I like this one, I like this one, I like this one...."  This girl loves being a mommy to her little babies.  

I pulled one down off the shelf that didn't have a bazillion accessories and asked her if she liked it.  She responded with an emphatic, "That's MY baby!"  Ok, then.  

We headed out with a very excited little girl who wanted it out of the package as soon as possible.  She also wanted to take her doll into the mall with her where we had to stop into a few stores.  No big deal, right?  Apparently I was wrong.  

I was given a very interesting glimpse into the inner workings of the minds around me though this little experience.  It's just a little girl and her beloved doll....right?  

Not so much.

Here's Evelyn with her new doll whom she has named Baby Fray. 

So here's what happened.

We walked in the door of the mall and the first people we saw were two black women in their 40's.  One of them looked at Evelyn clutching her doll while they rode in the stroller, looked up at me, and said, "wow" with a smile on her face and continued walking.  That one warmed my heart.

Most people paid little to no notice of Evelyn while she played with her doll.  This was more what I was expecting.

Then we walked into a women's clothing store.  I'm debating not going in that store again.  We walked in and were browsing around.  Then one of the store clerks saw Evelyn walking around singing to her baby.  She started laughing.  Not laughing as in, "oh isn't that sweet".  LAUGHING.  She stopped long enough to say, "Oh my goodness that little white girl has a BLACK baby doll!"  I was mortified.  And speechless.  

I responded with something lame like, "yep, she does." 

But it continued.  She then called her fellow employees over so that they could look at my daughter like she was some kind of spectacle.  My poor little sweetie just stood there clinging to her doll looking confused yet somewhat oblivious to what was transpiring.

The woman just kept commenting on how usually little girls play with dolls that look like them, wondering why she would want to play with a black doll, and assuming that I laughed really hard when this doll came into our possession.

I gathered my bearings, let the woman know that my daughter actually is the one that decided she wanted that particular doll, and that she regularly is around people of different races and skin tones, and that she loved the doll and that's all I cared about.  

Her response, "well I guess that's good."

I can't imagine someone would be this brazen when it is me not carrying a doll, but my child who looks different than me.  At least I hope they wouldn't.  But I won't ever be able to put it out of the realm of possible situations we will find ourselves in.

As far as Evelyn and baby Fray go, they are still very much mommy and baby.  Baby Fray slept in Evelyn's bed last night, and she was so excited to show her off to daddy this morning.  She was served breakfast with the family and hasn't left Evelyn's side all day.  Apparently Evelyn was unscathed by this woman and her insensitivity. 

Rock Your World and Adoption Changes

Sometimes I feel like God puts situations in our lives to rock our world. To make us think. To ask us, "Do you REALLY trust me?"

This adoption process has been one of those.

Then yesterday morning I was reading something that just fit what I needed.

Write out in detail your will for a situation facing you. Write out definite instructions for God about how you think He should handle it. Then write across it in red ink: Surrendered to the Father. Do Your will in Your way at Your time. Then pray this way: Father, here is my will. You know that I have a will and expectations in every matter, but I choose to lay my will down and not settle for anything less than Your wonderful will. I trust Your love for me and Your wisdom in this situation. Not my will, but Yours, be done.

Whew. I needed that.

So here's where we are with the adoption. We're going domestic. That's a HUGE shift for us. But it's where we are and we have such peace about it.

We are also nearing the end of our home study. We have one more visit scheduled for the beginning of June, some reference letters to receive, and a couple doctors letters and then we're DONE!

Then starts the profile creating and grant applications and all that good stuff. But at least at that point we will be approved to adopt and can move forward with things.

Felt Food Raffle

I am so excited to throw our first raffle!!!

I have spent the last few weeks working on a selection of felt food that turned out to be so much fun.  I've had to take some of the pieces away from Evelyn several times because she has wanted to use them in her own kitchen.

This set is a great starter set for any play kitchen and is recommended for children 3+ due to the small size of some of the pieces.  If you have a younger child, just be sure to keep the pizza toppings out of reach until they quit thinking toys must be tasted to be played with.

The set includes a breakfast of 3 slices of bacon and 2 fried eggs.




A peanut butter and jelly sandwich (2 slices of bread, peanut butter, and 2 flavors of jelly) and a side of ruffled chips (7 chips in a bag) for lunch.








 

For dinner is a pizza (topped with sauce, cheese, pepperoni, green pepper, mushrooms, and olives) and a spring salad (a dozen salad leaves in 4 different varieties).

It all comes in a grocery sack for your little one to play with.



All pieces (except for the decoration on the chip bag and the pepperoni) are made from a wool blend felt.  The set retails for $80.00.

There are several ways to enter to win. 

1. The first way (and required in order to use the other options) is to donate $5 to our adoption fund via the pay pal button on the right column of the blog.  You can utilize this option to get additional entries as many times as you would like!  :)
2. Become a follower of my blog and let me know you did by leaving a comment.
3. Post a link to this blog post on Facebook and let me know that you did by leaving a comment.
4. Post a link to this blog post on Twitter and let me know that you did by leaving a comment.
5. Post a link to this blog post on your blog and let me know you did by leaving a comment.

The raffle will be open until 7:00 p.m. on Sunday, May 1st.  So spread the word and good luck!!!

Mindful of the Orphan

Sometimes I have a blog post being written in my head and then I stumble upon someone who has already written it, just much more eloquently.  

So here's your inspiration for the day.

Be mindful of the orphan.

In the Mail

opOur application to Children's Hope International is in the mail!!!

I wasn't going to blog about it, but then it became an adventure, so I thought I would let you all laugh with (at) me.

I had to include 7 non-professional pictures with our application. Two of just me and Scott, one of the girls, one of the outside of our house, and three of different rooms inside our house.

The only of those that was easy was the one of the outside of our house, because I already had one saved on the computer.

Apparently Scott and I hardly EVER take pictures of just the two of us. I had to scrounge around forever to find two. The first is actually one of my favorites from Meredith's wedding.



The second one that I had to resign myself to sending in is me big and pregnant with fat face. And don't try to tell me that I don't look fat. Clearly there is an extra layer of padding encircling my face.



I thought finding a picture of the girls together would be easy. But heaven forbid they both try to look normal and smiling in a picture at the same time. I would have sent in the one that's at the top of the blog, but the incredibly talented Sarah Franczyk took it this fall when we did family photos (i.e. it's professional). So here's the one I picked. 2-year-olds aren't expected to look normal in pictures, right?



I won't post the ones of our house, but I will let you know that it took me two days in order to have three rooms clean enough to photograph. I'm not a house keeper, it's not my gift. Besides, when you have 2 kids I don't think your house should be clean all the time. Unless you're my sister Mel, and then you have some freakish ability to always have your house spotless despite utter chaos (she has 4 boys ages 6 and under).

Anyway, so onto my story. I had to run up to Walgreens this morning to pick up these pictures. So, Evelyn and I were all ready to go so that as soon as Bella woke up from her morning snooze we could run over there, pick up the pictures, have my passport photo taken, and pick up a big envelope to mail the application in.

We make it up there, I get my photo taken, and tell the employee that I am going to go pick up a couple things then come back to pick up the finished product. When I return he hasn't finished it. Why you ask? Because apparently it is more important to sell energy drinks to 3 different Walgreens employees than it is to finish my passport photo. Not bitter. Just impatient.

We finally get home with all our things in hand and I see the mailman making the rounds on our street. I rush inside, double check the pictures, put everything in the envelope, put three stamps on it just in case, tape it shut, and run back out.... he's moved on to the next block. I also have to add that while I'm doing this Evelyn is screaming, "Ah-belle trying to eat my brown poopy!!!" No joke. I tell her to move it so that Bella can't reach it. Rockstar mom moment, I know. So Evelyn is carrying her entire potty seat (full of both the brown and yellow variety) around the dining room to keep it away from Bella and I am trying to not envision her tripping and spilling it all over.

Back to the mailman. I can see him halfway down our block. So what do I do? I run after him. I'm yelling, "SIR! SIR!" No response. I persist. Finally I make it all the way down our block (I'm not a runner, so it seemed really far, ok?). I walk up to him and realize he's listening to something and now I'm REALLY hoping "he" didn't hear me. Why? Because he is a she. Oops. In my defense she had super short hair.

The application is in the mail though. And I returned to find the potty still safely in the potty seat.

The end.

Looking for a Doula???

If you are I have a wonderful option for you.

My friend Shannon Carter has offered to help us in a BIG way. In fact, it makes me tear up when I think about our awesome friends who make these kinds of offers to us.

Shannon used to work at a local birth center in Kansas City as a doula. She now stays home with her three beautiful boys while still offering doula services to local moms and training to be a midwife.

She let me know that she would offer doula services to one expectant family at no cost to her. Instead, you would donate her usual fee ($400) to our adoption fund. (Insert tears here).

If you would like her to be the doula at your upcoming birth, please let me know! Just shoot me an email or comment on this post and I will get you in touch with Shannon.

Decisions, Decisions

We had a meeting with our social worker on Friday (we loooove her) to discuss what we should do in terms of the adoption. She works with both the international agency and the domestic agency that we would go through depending on where we end up adopting from...how fabulous is that???

Anyways, here's the plan. We are going to start the E******* process. It's where our hearts are. We don't know how long the process will take. If the slow downs continue, it could take 3-4 years to bring a baby home. If they pick back up to where they were, it would only take 18-24 months.

IF a few months down the road as everything becomes more clear we realize that it will be more like 3-4 years before we bring our bitty home, we will start a concurrent domestic adoption through a local non-profit Christian crisis pregnancy center.

The domestic wait time is about 2 years through this organization. BUT, because we are looking to adopt an African American child, it would probably be less. That part makes me sad. :(

Overall though, we are excited!!! Our application paperwork is almost complete and will be sent in Monday's mail. Then we will get to start the homestudy process.

I will be posting soon about a couple amazing friends of mine who have offered to help us with fund-raising in a BIG way.

Thank you all for your support as we go through this.

Up in the Air

I'm trying hard to keep my focus and heart where they need to be in terms of the adoption. Every time I read something about the upheaval in the E***** adoption system I am either encouraged that we will be able to move forward or discouraged that it just may not be possible for us.

The one constant in this though is that my first and foremost concern is that orphans are cared for.

There are a lot of tales of corruption coming from E******* right now. They are trying to get it fixed. They are trying to make it right. That is the most important thing.

On Friday we have a meeting with our representative/social worker with the agency to discuss all this. We will then decide whether we can move forward with E*******. It may be that we need to walk away for a little while (from E******* adoption, not adoption in general). It pains me to think of that, but again, my higher priority is making sure orphans are properly cared for, not that I get to bring one home to snuggle.

I could ramble on about my thoughts on all this for a while, but I will spare you all. Please keep praying for us that we would know what is best.

First Step

That's adoption paperwork. Our adoption paperwork.

It's a huge first step to a lifelong dream of mine to provide a home and family for an orphan. Scott and I have been talking about adoption for years now and we decided that now is the time to move forward.

And now to start answering the questions that I'm sure people will want to know...

Where are you adopting from?
E*******!

Why E*******?
E******* has a great program right now. You can adopt a child under 12 months old without waiting years and years. Also, they have no in-country formal adoption system. If a child is orphaned, they are generally an orphan for life if there is no immediate family to take them in. Unfortunately, their lifespan is also quite short in that case. There just isn't the kind of structure needed to provide for orphaned children. They rely on international adoption right now to help care for these babies.

What agency are you using?
Children's Hope International. They are based out of St. Louis, but have a Kansas City representative that we are able to work with and meet in person.

What age child will you adopt?
We will request a baby under 12 months old, and in all likelihood, the child we bring home will be around 6 months old.

Will you request a boy or a girl?
We won't request a certain gender, but boys tend to be more available so it is more likely that we will end up with a son.

How long until you bring the baby home?
It will be about 18-24 months from now that we will return from our second trip to Ethiopia with our child.

What's the next step?
Once we finish our application to our agency (which may take a little bit because we have to request doctor's letters and such) we will set up our home study and begin parent education (we have complete 10 hours of it). During this time we will also begin fund-raising.

How much will it cost?
All said and done, including our homestudy, agency fees, referral fees, travel, visas and such, it will be approximately $24,000.

What will you do to pay for it?
Besides saving every spare penny we can find in the budget, I plan on having a garage sale, selling some homemade things, raffling off some services that friends are willing to donate, etc. I will also be applying for any grants I can find that we qualify for.

More to come...

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. ~James 1:27

More on this to come...