More Puzzle Pieces

I feel like maybe one day we will have all the pieces of the puzzle sorted out for Evelyn.  It seems as though each year we continue to gather more up and begin to see a clearer picture of our first born and what makes her unique.

This year's portion of the picture was really illuminated by her attending preschool.  Being able to watch her interact with her peers, work alongside them, and learn with them has been telling for us.  It confirmed some suspicions for us and her teacher become a fresh set of eyes for us in which to analyze what might be going on.

This led us to having Evelyn reevaluated for speech delays as well as now also having an occupational therapist evaluate her fine motor function as well.  And while a couple different potential over-arching diagnosis terms have been thrown around, she is still officially label-less, but receiving services for both speech articulation delay, fine motor delay, and below average visual motor integration.

I'm glad that we've caught these things relatively early because with help, she should eventually be right on par with her peer group.  We have no idea why she struggles in these areas while excelling in others.  That part is still a mystery.

In the mean time, besides therapy, we are extending therapy activities to home to help her progress as quickly and smoothly as possible.  I went over a list of things we could get for home with her occupational therapist and came up with a box full of things for under $100 that Evelyn and Annie can do together that they would find fun and not laborious.  Annie starts preschool next year, so I'm doing the therapy activities with her as well so that she can be as successful as possible when doing PreK activities next year such as writing and cutting.

Here's what we ended up with.

Theraputty

This is much firmer than play-doh and playing with it helps strengthen the muscles in your hands.  The therapist often uses it to hide objects such as beads or coins in and has Evelyn work them back out again.

Snap Cubes

Great for the snapping and unsnapping, making and copying patterns, and working on simple addition at the same time.

Beads and Pattern Cards

Bead Set

Beads and Peg Boards

Just pray for me now that Abraham doesn't find this one.

Bed Bugs Game

The tongs from this are good for lots of fine motor games.

Stringing Pegs

Spring Rolling In

Spring feels like it's finally creeping in.  That means afternoons out playing in the wet and mud.  And worms.

I handed over the camera to one of the teenage neighbor girls who was out playing with the kids.

The kids always act different around a camera when it's not mom behind it.

So much puppy love from this little boy who did a lot of growing up over this long, cold winter.

And getting this little one to do anything other than beg to watch Frozen is nothing short of a miracle!

Progress!

Do you see that number over there???  -------->>>>

1,663!

It feels so good to have gotten this far already in clearing stuff out of my house.  My master bedroom feels more spacious and less cluttered.  Our basement is functional and easy to find things.  There isn't excess stuff sitting around down there collecting dust and adding chaos.

So how in the world did we get to that number without this happening every day?

Yes, those two really did that one morning while I was all proud of myself for getting all the beds made and the bathroom cleaned upstairs.  We are still finding flour on things days later.

The only way it was able to happen so quickly was that my parents took the kids for a weekend for us.  We spent an entire Saturday going through the basement and getting rid of all the stuff that we had convinced ourselves for years that we needed to hang on to, but really we didn't.

Here's 7 boxes full of books.  Books we weren't reading or needing for any real reason.  I took them to Half Price Books and got $80 for them.  I'd much rather have $80 than have these boxes cluttering up shelves in the basement.

Then there was all this.  All this was hauled off to City Thrift.  Garbage bags full of outgrow or unneeded clothes, household accessories, and just randomness.  So.  Much.  Randomness.

And even after I snapped these pics, we found a whole other car load full of things to get rid of.  I cleared out old table cloths from the hutch that don't fit any of our current tables, serving dishes I never use, old jewelry that doesn't get worn, winter clothes from my closet that I didn't wear all winter, more kids toys, and old files that we do not need (old refrigerator manuals, anyone?).

Adoptiversary

I could overhear Evelyn singing got Abraham in his room yesterday morning.

"You have to dress fancy today Abraham.  It's kind of like your birthday, but it's your family day!"  

She knew we had a small party planned, were making a cake, and that it was one year ago that Abraham was officially adopted.  She decided to call it family day.

She asked me to write "Happy family day Abraham Behrens we love you" on his cake.  I let her know I wasn't that talented, and stuck with just his name.

He ate two pieces.  His belly was hard as a rock.

It was a gorgeous day of remembering all we went through to have him join our family and how thankful we are that he is a permanent member.

He's giving me the side-eye because it was snuggle and sleep time, not photo time.  He wouldn't let me rock him to sleep like I did a year ago.  He's getting all grown up on me.  

Food Stamps and Welfare Queens

There's a woman in front of you in the grocery store check out line.  She has 4 children with her and through listening to her talk, you realize she has at least a handful of others at home.  She has her naturally curly hair smoothed into a short bob, her makeup is neatly done highlighting her high cheek bones on her dark brown face, and her sophisticated dress and shoes make you assume she's fairly well off.

One of her youngest children begins throwing a fit about her older sibling getting her favorite chips while she didn't get her favorite cereal.  You watch carefully to see if this mom responds the way you think she should.  Instead, she shows the child a bag of m & m's and throws them in the cart to placate the behavior.

The cart is already quite full with all types of food including some bags of chips, 2 liters of soda, and boxes of cookies.

You try to reign in the look on your face as she goes to check out and pulls her food stamp card out of her expensive handbag.

You shake your head.  Another welfare queen.  If only she wouldn't keep having so many kids and spending her money on junk food; not to mention her over-spending on her clothes and accessories maybe she could afford to feed her own kids without using your tax payer money.

What you don't know is her name.  Or her story.

She's a single mom because after the birth of her 10th child her husband suddenly and tragically passed away.  He supported the family well and was a devoted father and partner for 20 years.  He loved to make sure his wife had nice clothes and pretty handbags because he saw how much she labored to take care of their children.  After his death she was left floundering trying to manage their minimal life insurance that didn't stretch past the mortgage and utilities.

So she did what she had to do.  She picked up part time work to help cover the rest of the bills and applied for assistance for anything she could so that she could be home when her kids got off the school bus.

She continued to wear the clothes her husband had purchased before his death and took meticulous care of them knowing they may have to last many more years.  While it often made her feel out of place and embarrassed when she had to wear them to the welfare office, she simply couldn't afford to purchase other items of clothing that would fit society's image of what a woman in need of assistance should look like.

The junk food in her cart was for her child's birthday party in the upcoming weekend.  She cried over the cookies because given her work schedule and family demands, she simply wouldn't be able to make an elaborate cake this year.  It broke her heart.  Little reminders of how much their life had changed in the last year.

I'm thankful for her sake that she doesn't have time to check in to Facebook.  It's a war zone for those in need with regular posting of memes that decry her abuse of the system and tell her that she should have to prove her worthiness of being able to feed her children with drug tests or be given only rice and beans.

This is just one woman's story, and it's not nearly every welfare recipient's story.  But they each do have a story.  One that you most likely don't know, or don't know in it's entirety.

So chose grace.  Choose to show those in need true grace, not acceptance based on criteria you've set up in your mind.  Not skepticism that maybe they are one of "those" who are abusing a safety net.  Unless you are their social worker or the one in charge of deciding their need, just choose grace.

Life Since Christmas

Life has been FULL around here.  Not just busy, but full.  The days are both incredibly long dealing with the reality of 3 small children, but also short compared to how much I'm trying to accomplish.

I've still been trying to purge and clean to make my house feel less hectic.  You may notice on the side there I'm inching up on having gotten almost 700 items out of the house!  Woot!

This cupboard was a hot mess.  But no more!

Then there's this kid.  Seriously.  The cute overload is equal the the amount of destruction he can cause in a day.  I've never seen the like.  He does. not. stop.  Toilets, cupboards, drawers, anything on the kitchen table...it's all fair game.

I'm also making some attempts this year to take better care of myself mentally and physically.  Part of that was joining the YMCA.  This is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.  I'm getting in shape and they give me 2 hours of free childcare a day to do so.  Win - win.  I get a break and I feel better about myself.

Well, that was until I strained my ankle.  I'm equally annoyed and in pain.  I'm not sure how long recovery will take, but I will still be hitting up the gym, because 2 hours of childcare.  I get to shower there without children destroying things too.  Seriously, it's the best idea ever.

A Gross Cleaning Experiment

A couple years ago I bought a few Norwex cloths.  They are a high quality microfiber cloth that cleans really well without having to use cleaning products and are lined with silver so that whatever they trap is disinfected.  I used them ALL THE TIME.  I cleaned ALL THE SURFACES.  Windows, counters, bathrooms, fabric furniture.  Everything got cleaned with these things.

Over time though they went from feeling really soft and fluffy, to crunchy and a little smelly.  I would wash them as good as I could and even tried boiling them in vinegar water a few times, but to no avail.

I basically gave up on using them anymore until I got an idea from a cloth diapering Facebook group I'm in.  There's a product called rlr that a lot of people use to strip the fabric of their cloth diapers if it has hard water build-up or stink.  A while back, the founder of the group who is a chemist, figured out what was in rlr and realized it's almost identical to powdered dish washer detergent.  Some members of the group tried soaking their diapers in water with dishwasher powder added and it pulled out all kinds of gross, even from freshly washed fabrics.

So I decided to give it a try.  In a bucket filled with scalding hot water, I added 1 tab of dishwasher powder and let it dissolve.  I then stirred my rags in and let them soak until the water cooled.

Prepared to be grossed out.  These were freshly washed rags.

Right????  That's so gross!  I ended up doing it 4 times before the water was mostly clear.  Then I bleached them, because ew.

So of course, I had to start soaking ALL THE THINGS!!!

I started with our bath towels.  And while the water didn't get nearly as nasty, there was still some discoloration.  My only consolation is that just about everyone who has tried this, and posted pictures,  has similar results.  Unless you have a water softener, the same hard water build-up that happens in your shower is happening on your fabrics.

You now have an activity for while you're snowed in.  You're welcome.