We had a phone call yesterday afternoon with Abraham's birthfather (S). It went well, all things considered.
It was hard though. People are mufti-faceted, but it is often easier to think of them as one dimensional. It's easier to think of someone as either good or bad. Selfish or selfless. Mature or immature. It's just simply not the case, and that's no different when it comes to birthparents and adoption.
We are still processing the new information we gathered from the call. Our processing will continue over time as S would like an on-going relationship with us. That's something we are proceeding into with our guards up and lots of trust needing to be built. At the forefront of our minds will always be: what is best for Abraham.
If a relationship with S can be healthy and productive, then it will continue. Right now we think that may be a possibility, we just have to some relational capitol and set up boundaries once we know what they need to be. It will be a relationship that surely evolves and changes as Abraham grows up and we have to navigate the truth of his story with him.
For right now though, the important piece is that S will not sign a consent for the adoption, but his rights are being terminated (they have already been terminated in one state and in the process of being terminated in our state). It does not sound like he is going to do anything to fight this process or to attempt to undo what's been done.
For that we are thankful. February 18th will be his last day to decide to battle this. If he doesn't by then, we will be able to proceed to finalization which should happen in March.