The baby we thought would be ours is now 2 months old. It has been a hard 2 months. Lots of time spent grieving and trying to move forward. We have been shown to a few other expectant parents, and were even almost chosen for a baby who is already born. But, the nursery is still empty.
It's been a year since we started updating our home study. We had to put off really doing anything with it until Scott switched jobs (a year ago in June). But it's been a year since we decided our family had a spot left to fill. A year of preparing to have a baby. We are so ready, and so tired of waiting.
In 2 months Abe will be 3, and I was really hoping to have another baby by then. I'm learning daily to let go of my picture of what my family will look like and when things will happen. I don't get to control this situation or when things will happen.
In the meantime Abe and I are enjoying our days together. I've never had a 2-year-old while not having a baby in the house too. He is full of it and gives me a run for my money a lot of days, but its been fun to just enjoy this stage with him.