Being by the water is like taking a deep breath for me. So after how the last 6 months have gone, floating in the middle of an ocean on a ship was like getting to breathe fresh air for the first time in ages.
When my mom said she needed a warm, tropical getaway and wanted to bring me and my sisters along, I jumped at the chance.
The days were filled with lounging by the pool or looking out over the ocean and the nights were filled with shows, laughs, and entertainment. There were no meals to prepare, noses to wipe, or fights to break up.
With the removal of the day-to-day duties, I was able to rest and process all that has happened. It also allowed my sisters and I to deal with some underlying issues that have existed between us all for years. Is there a family exist that doesn't have stuff to work through? I think no.
Now I'm back home and back in the thick of fighting children, Scott getting caught up on work, and a messy house. But I feel revived and ready to take it on. Not drowning in emotions. Feeling hopeful.
The nursery door is open, rather than shut hiding all signs of a baby behind it. I cleaned the room, opened the curtains, and look into it with hope instead of sadness. I've never felt so ready to bring a baby home, but also don't feel as though all my happiness is wrapped up in it. It's a good place to be. At least for today.