Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Nesting

I've spent the last few days down in our basement (102 year old home, so don't picture a theater room and some storage space) decluttering, cleaning, organizing, and killing creepy crawly things.  The urge hit me, suddenly.  THE BASEMENT MUST BE CLEAN.  When I have an urge to clean or organize, I must run with it.  Otherwise it passes and nothing gets cleaned or organized.  Ever.

While down there I found some half-finished craft projects.  And suddenly, they needed done.  THE CRAFTS MUST BE COMPLETED.  Case and point:



I started painting those frames over a year ago.  A year.

At first I just passed it off as just passing inspiration to be more organized or get stuff accomplished.  Then I remember distinctly doing this exact same thing just over a year ago as we waited to be matched with an expectant mom and then as we waited for Abraham to be born.

Before adopting, I always thought the urge to nest was a hormonal thing.  But in reality, it seems to just be more of a nervous energy thing where you need to fill the minutes of the day or else they will just tick by ever so slowly.

So friends, this is my way of passing some news.  I'm not just cleaning and organizing.  I'm nesting.  Kind of.  Maybe.

In 9 weeks Abraham's birth mom will be giving birth to a baby boy.  She's unsure of her plan for this little guy.  He may be staying with her.  A decision we fully support.  She may be placing him with us. Again, a decision we fully support.  What we do know is that she is very carefully weighing her options and that in the end she will make the right decision for herself and this child.

I'll head off a few of the inevitable questions that we get asked.

Q: When does she have to decide what she's going to do?
A: There is NO timeline.  She could decide tomorrow, a week from now, a day before the birth, or even after the birth.  We are not giving her a "decide by" date.

Q: Will this baby have the same health problems Abraham has had?
A: No idea.  Biological siblings don't all have the same health issues, though sometimes they do.  There's no way to tell.

Q: Will you have the same problems as you did with Abraham's birthdad?
A: Most likely no.  The two boys do not have the same biological father.

Q: What do you think she's going to choose?
A: I really don't know.  If I had to guess, I would hesitantly guess that she is going to parent this baby.  There are a myriad of reasons for that of which I won't disclose on the internet because they are her personal business.  But the reality is that there are a lot of reasons she may choose not to parent, so we have to at least be somewhat prepared.

Q: What are you doing to prepare?
A: Nesting.  :)  Beyond cleaning random things and organizing basements we are also getting our home study updated (no small process).  I got an inch thick packet of paperwork in the mail to fill out, we have to be fingerprinted and background checked again, as well as have all new references and such.

Q: Will it cost as much as Abraham's adoption?
A: Not even close.  We will not be having to pay for a lot of things we had to pay for with Abe's adoption including agency fees, consulting fees, full price of a home study, and an additional attorney in our agency's state.  All in all it will probably cost about 1/5-1/3 what Abraham's adoption cost.

If I'm not thinking of something, feel free to actually ask.  :)


9 comments:

  1. Dear Liz,
    Praying that God will prepare and calm your heart for whatever is ahead, and that the birthmom will have wisdom and peace to make her decision. Thanks for sharing!

    Libby

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  2. why doesn't his birth mother practice birth control if she can't handle having more children? valid question.

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    1. It is a valid question, for her. Not for me. There are many, many factors that go into use or non-use of birth control including culture, socio-economics, etc. Beside the fact that birth control is not 100% effective, so to assume that the issue is not using birth control is a bit presumptuous.

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    2. Well said Elizabeth...

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  3. Actually, I know Kendra and to even insinuate that she uses birth control regardless of the margin of failure, is laughable. She has kids by what, 4 fathers now? She's on welfare, food stamps, medicaid and still doesn't learn her lesson. It is sad. Regardless of culture, socioeconomics etc, there is still a point in time where you learn your lesson and stop bringing innocent children that you can't care for into the world. I won't even mention all the diseases she is exposing herself to by having unprotected sex with these dirtbags. Instead of making excuses for her in hopes that she will give you another child, why not try to educate her on her poor decisions? Don't you want your son to have a birthmother he can be proud of?

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    1. You need to stop making assumptions.

      First off, Abraham's birthmom is not Kendra. I don't know who Kendra is. I feel for whoever she is that not only is she making what sounds like some poor choices, but instead of being shown love she is being shown judgment.

      Second off, I am not making excuses for Abraham's birthmom in hopes that she will give us another child. That's pretty preposterous. You have no idea what is K (not Kendra) and I talk about. You clearly don't know my heart for her or my family.

      Third, it's not my job to change her into someone that I decide my son can be proud of. What I can do is pray for her. I can speak the gospel into her life and let her know that she is loved by God and us more than she could ever imagine. Me giving her law and rules to follow will not change her anymore than it has changed any single solitary person throughout history. God changes people. Not me.

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  4. Elizabeth: You should just ignore this troll who obviously has nothing better to do than talk smack on a blog that is about your beautiful family. It's nobody's business what Abraham's birthmom does or does not do, least of all some random person on the internet who has to hide behind anonymous to spew hateful things.
    Heather

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    1. You're right. It's tough to not defend yourself and people you love! I probably won't be allowing anymore of their comments, especially if they aren't willing to not hide behind the anonymous label.

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