I've spent the last few days down in our basement (102 year old home, so don't picture a theater room and some storage space) decluttering, cleaning, organizing, and killing creepy crawly things. The urge hit me, suddenly. THE BASEMENT MUST BE CLEAN. When I have an urge to clean or organize, I must run with it. Otherwise it passes and nothing gets cleaned or organized. Ever.
While down there I found some half-finished craft projects. And suddenly, they needed done. THE CRAFTS MUST BE COMPLETED. Case and point:
I started painting those frames over a year ago. A year.
At first I just passed it off as just passing inspiration to be more organized or get stuff accomplished. Then I remember distinctly doing this exact same thing just over a year ago as we waited to be matched with an expectant mom and then as we waited for Abraham to be born.
Before adopting, I always thought the urge to nest was a hormonal thing. But in reality, it seems to just be more of a nervous energy thing where you need to fill the minutes of the day or else they will just tick by ever so slowly.
So friends, this is my way of passing some news. I'm not just cleaning and organizing. I'm nesting. Kind of. Maybe.
In 9 weeks Abraham's birth mom will be giving birth to a baby boy. She's unsure of her plan for this little guy. He may be staying with her. A decision we fully support. She may be placing him with us. Again, a decision we fully support. What we do know is that she is very carefully weighing her options and that in the end she will make the right decision for herself and this child.
I'll head off a few of the inevitable questions that we get asked.
Q: When does she have to decide what she's going to do?
A: There is NO timeline. She could decide tomorrow, a week from now, a day before the birth, or even after the birth. We are not giving her a "decide by" date.
Q: Will this baby have the same health problems Abraham has had?
A: No idea. Biological siblings don't all have the same health issues, though sometimes they do. There's no way to tell.
Q: Will you have the same problems as you did with Abraham's birthdad?
A: Most likely no. The two boys do not have the same biological father.
Q: What do you think she's going to choose?
A: I really don't know. If I had to guess, I would hesitantly guess that she is going to parent this baby. There are a myriad of reasons for that of which I won't disclose on the internet because they are her personal business. But the reality is that there are a lot of reasons she may choose not to parent, so we have to at least be somewhat prepared.
Q: What are you doing to prepare?
A: Nesting. :) Beyond cleaning random things and organizing basements we are also getting our home study updated (no small process). I got an inch thick packet of paperwork in the mail to fill out, we have to be fingerprinted and background checked again, as well as have all new references and such.
Q: Will it cost as much as Abraham's adoption?
A: Not even close. We will not be having to pay for a lot of things we had to pay for with Abe's adoption including agency fees, consulting fees, full price of a home study, and an additional attorney in our agency's state. All in all it will probably cost about 1/5-1/3 what Abraham's adoption cost.
If I'm not thinking of something, feel free to actually ask. :)