Waiting

The baby we thought would be ours is now 2 months old.  It has been a hard 2 months.  Lots of time spent grieving and trying to move forward.  We have been shown to a few other expectant parents, and were even almost chosen for a baby who is already born.  But, the nursery is still empty.

It's been a year since we started updating our home study.  We had to put off really doing anything with it until Scott switched jobs (a year ago in June).  But it's been a year since we decided our family had a spot left to fill.  A year of preparing to have a baby.  We are so ready, and so tired of waiting.

In 2 months Abe will be 3, and I was really hoping to have another baby by then.  I'm learning daily to let go of my picture of what my family will look like and when things will happen.  I don't get to control this situation or when things will happen.

In the meantime Abe and I are enjoying our days together.  I've never had a 2-year-old while not having a baby in the house too.  He is full of it and gives me a run for my money a lot of days, but its been fun to just enjoy this stage with him.